i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
