And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize