her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
