You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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