two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
