Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Someone signed my nipple.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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