I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
