So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
