My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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