You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
