the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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