Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
