so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
