Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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