My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
