U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
