The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
