singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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