Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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