I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
