Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
