I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
