So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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