what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
