DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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