Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize