Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
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We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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