She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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