Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
