It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
