Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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