he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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