Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
