You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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