I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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