sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
