Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
