so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
