Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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