Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
