4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
