"it" just moved
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
