fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
