New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
