Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize