dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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