did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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