No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
