guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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