i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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