He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize