Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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