Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
