i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
