just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
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he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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