My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
