I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize