me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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